Finally back home...

Been back for awhile now...

Haven really consider myself back home till i have attended Church service and link up with all my brothers and sisters. Its an awesome feeling as these are the things that kept me sane and going during all the hardships that i had went through..

Church services was gr8 with being kina blur during the Gen Rav meeting at New creation church level 6. Still kina lost at what is Gen rav really.. Think they are consider the young adults and working class of the church. First few thing that came out of the pastor was abt looking for a life partner for this coming christmas. How i wish and pray if that was that easy. Interesting thing from the pastor was, in order to be fully out of one is to engage in another.. on certain level, that is kina try, provided you are not taking a rebounder. Well, wld be nice to spend christmas with someone i can really show my care and love for besides my family, brothers and sisters. Only if God is willing and if time is rite.. I will be ready for God to plant that seed in the heart and grow. Met up with the braddel care grp, din know the care grp that i one knew have split into 2 section. But we are still under the same church. soo its all good! Ladies from my CG are pretty as well.. haha... Had lunch with my brother and shared alot on what had happened over the past months. Time will tell lahz.. like Senson in his story, God have never left me and he will give back to me more folds then ever before.. Amen...

Meet the brothers and sis in arms for some awesome makan session at ECP.. gosh.. that place is warm ass even if its in the evening. Silly me for wearing a shirt, how wld i know even after a serious period of down pour, the heat still lingers around.. dank.. but the comforting thing wld be the food is still as good. stingray, bbq you tiao, some osyter in chill crab sauce, satay, sugar cane w lemon n some veges.. one of the best meal i ever had after coming back.. Nuthing beats the food in singapore.. This is home once again..

Think i wld seriously need to hit the gym and pool soon to burn of some energy and build back in shape alit to njoy more good food.. More to come with lots of interesting events coming my way.

Back on home ground...

Finally back on familiar grounds.. But kina got abit lost in the terminals as i come off the gates.. haha.. i blame it on the long period of time overseas.

Juz got back from NZ and went str8 to Bedok corner for some hokkien Mee and cheng teng. Its still good after soo long. Somethings dun change, which is awesome for me! Can`t wait to taste the rest of the food that i have been dreaming of.

Manage to link up with Shai and have a day event at fairway club. Haven`t been in the teambuilding event for the longest time. But it was an interesting day, catch with with some of the more familiar trainners and have a cute eye candy for the day! haha.. Good girls are worth looking at.

Clubs in singapore these days are filled with ppl, phuture was still having problems with its massive crowd and ppl fighting.. what a night. Will be going to Walas tonite.. hope its juz as fun..

Going home...

Couple more hours, i will be getting ready to change up and finalize my bags and document to leave this rubbish place for the year.. This will be the end of 2009 Palmy for me.. then a few more hours from that, i will be boarding a 777-300ER back to singapore.. Time to leave everything behind and leave. Yet there is something that i have not done.. Something that if i did, things will change drastically for me and ppl i know. Something that doesn`t have a good ring to it.. hmm...

Couple of hours to decide if its worth doing it. Life is an accident.. Sometimes things happened the way that is not planned!

Oh well, will be home soon to see my family and brothers and sisters..

One more wk to go...

Today, i kept my promise to a fren of mine.. I kept it to the very teeth of it. Am kina surprise that i`m able to keep if for the entire period of time. Almost had to break my leg to stop myself.. Anyway, there wun be a next time. Hopefully, God will show me an easier way to stop myself..

One more wk to home.. Kina do nuthing here in this rubbish land. Can`t believe that every freaking flight is full, even with the business class.. Why are there so many singaporeans in NZ? why are there so many people going to singapore during this period of time..? Why ?

Visit to Ohakea Airbase

Abt 30km north of Palmy is the base for 42SQN, 3rd SQN, PTS and some other SQN.. Its the home for most Kiwi pilot training ground.

This visit bring back memories..

Gone were the days when i was still a trainee in Singapore Air Force.. Flight suit, steel toe boots, patches, helmets and all that culture juz sink str8 in me. Ops, Planning room, Met brief in the morning, junior class doing the shit-est of jobs.. Last but not least, doing shouts at the mess and drinking all nite on the wkend with the instructors and crew.. It does spell out some wonderful time i use to have. At least it took some of my time away to think abt some stuff..

Sorting out the shit for next year, seems like it might not be easy for me as somethings wld juz stare back at you in your face. Can`t wait to get out of this course and head home. Its not the course that sat me back but the ppl that are in it! Its freaking disgusting and unreal at how human beings are sometimes..

The night is long and lonely..

12 more days and i will be on a flight home.. away from this rubbish place that only offer the saddest memories..

The more i know the more disappointing life is. Everything that i have ever known is nuthing more then juz simple lies.. The wait, the chase and all that talks abt being taken care of, is nuthing more then a lie to cover up the stupidity mind and not at all LOVE as we all want to know it. Rage will never want to go down no matter how crazy or demonic i beat myself in sports or training. The need to do something is juz a constant reminder of how rubbish and silly i was to believe that loving someone with all i have is enough to help take away all that is wrong.. The feeling of helplessness and loneliness juz feel the night sky with all this depressing notes.. I am not SAFE..

P.S: din mean to sound like that, but thats how life is and how things are going for me.. Will be fine, at least i have to be!

I thou` I could, but I couldn`t

I thou I could, but i couldn`t,

the believe of things will be fine, but it didn`t

exhausting out the energy that encompass in my body to stop me from thinking,

but it never leave my breathe and engulf my mind with thoughts everynite

I thou i could, but i couldn`t

walking down the endless path of no return i pray for the wind to bring my thoughts away,

but it did.. it brought back more memories and illustrated as the clouds flow pass.

I thou i could, but i couldn`t

as i see you once again on the road with another , i thou i cld say "hi",

but i didn`t, only disappointment and confusion rise up to my unbearable action of uncomforted.

This has to stop and this will stop... I thou i could, but i couldn`t...

Few more days and it will be the end of paper for this sem.. Soo need to go back singapore for some fresh air. At least,

maybe things will be easier for me to handle, then here is a little town of Palmy. 17 more day and maybe things will be better..

Maybe this is how i know, i`m a Singaporean..